Boundaries
I wanted to take a moment and talk about a frequent topic in our group meetings: Boundaries. A member sent me a good Washington Post writeup on how prevalent misuse of the word is. The story can be found here. Boundaries are your personal policies regarding what you will do in a given situation. As you can imagine, boundaries […]
Radical Acceptance
Our community promotes the principle of Radical Acceptance, a phrase coined by psychologist Marsha Linehan when she created Dialectical Behavioral Therapy back in the 80s. Radical acceptance is basically accepting, without judgment, the reality of our situation, and working to move forward instead of remaining stuck on regrets, like “should,” “could have,” etc. For your consideration, […]
“TV Therapy”
Let’s take a minute and talk about what I have come to call “TV therapy.” As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I’m often amused (though sometimes frustrated) by inaccurate portrayals of counseling in TV and movies. That example has influenced some people who come to session with me. At any given time, I’ve usually got at least one […]
Adapting
As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I see many types of distress, from depression and anxiety to addiction and relationship issues. Often in session, we have conversations that boil down to the patient’s attachment to the desire for someone else to, well, do something. “I want this person to…” · Stop drinking · Treat me better […]
Forgiveness and Amends
Estrangement is certainly a topic within which we discuss these concepts. Forgiveness means letting go of resentment, anger, and hostility toward someone who treated you unfairly, even though you are justified in having these feelings. Who do you need to forgive? Are you able to? What if you need to forgive yourself? Look back at […]
Re-introducing: PLACE
We began this program back in March of 2023, and I thought I’d take this opportunity for a re-introduction. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (#64576) here in North Texas, and I’ve been seeing patients since 2008. I’m also a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor (#12813). I’m married to “the lovely Miss Renee,” as we affectionately call […]
Doing the Work
I have a hard question for you. Are you doing the work? You’re here, reading this, maybe participating in our Zoom meetings because you’ve been affected by estrangement and you want to feel better, right? There is a whole world of “interventions,” aka things to try to improve our mental/emotional wellbeing. Obviously, I’m a big […]
What Can You Do Today?
This change in our family system, often unexpected, has occurred, and here we remain. The changes can be subtle, or they can be across the board, with ripple effects in most every area of life. Some members speak about how they seem to be going through the motions day to day, doing what’s expected of […]
The Word Regret
I’ve been thinking a lot about the word regret lately. Who among us could say that when looking back at the entirety of their life so far they would have no regrets? Each instance, each moment in time is gone as quickly as it comes. We can see the narrative looking back, and if we’re […]
Identity
A recurring theme among those of us trying to cope and heal on this estrangement journey is identity. But let’s back up a bit. Perhaps you’ve heard the word “codependent” before. I have a bit of an uneasy relationship with the word myself, as it originated in self-help books in the 1980s. It’s not a diagnosis. […]