“It Takes All the Kung Fu I Have”

From my close friend, Whit McClendon: When my son, Connor, was nine or ten years old, I took him to a local bowling alley so we could have some fun together. He’d never bowled before and although I’d spent a huge part of my childhood in a bowling alley, I wasn’t a terribly good bowler either, […]

That Which I Loved Broke My Heart

As I sit here in the studio, I’m listening to Porcupine Tree, one of my favorite bands. It’s loud, but it’s not too loud. I have moderate hearing impairment, which I first noticed when I was about 13 years old. I wear hearing aids, and audiologists say the loss appears to have been the result […]

The Concept of Hope

How do you handle hope, estranged parents? I imagine stories of hope have been around for as long as we’ve had written language. Perhaps most frequently we think of Pandora’s Box from Greek mythology. After opening a box that releases evil into the world, Pandora closes it before hope can escape. If I’d been asked […]

Tribes

Not that long ago, my counselor challenged me to write down my tribes. I’d spent some time in a session talking about the loneliness that sometimes comes with being different. It’s not always sad or distressful. Nevertheless, if there is something that sets you apart, opportunities to be with similar people may be infrequent. Case […]

Transparency

Back in 2019, I was running a drug and alcohol treatment group in a rehab, and I made a mistake. Our group was about a dozen people who had completed the inpatient part of their treatment. My group, called Intensive Outpatient (IOP), was part of the process of stepping people down from the safe confines […]

Support Groups

I love support groups. As a counselor, of course, I do believe in the value of sitting with a professional and seeking input and guidance. I’ve had the good fortune to see a number of excellent counselors in my life (including my current one), and I certainly try to be that person for my own […]

A Foreign Pilgrimage

You are on a pilgrimage, whether you know it or not. My wife and I watched a documentary on religious artifacts a few nights ago. Since then, I’ve been thinking about the concept of a pilgrimage. In the show, they talked about an artifact in France and the visitors who pour in from across the […]

Riverbank

Imagine that you’re sitting on the bank of a river, observing the water rushing by. Maybe the water is clear and beautiful. Perhaps there is occasional trash or mud. Nevertheless, you remain aware that the river’s inherent beauty is unchanged. The river is forever, having been there since well before you were born, and will […]

The Gloam

John Steinbeck referred to twilight as “the gloam.” Word nerd that I am, I read it and tucked it away for future use. As it turns out, he didn’t make up that word; he simply used it effectively. I believe it was in the book Cannery Row, a favorite of mine. I once read somewhere that […]

Personal Narrative

A personal narrative is our way of making sense of the world. And if it’s inaccurate, it can prove difficult to see past. It can also wreak havoc on those around you. Right after I finished grad school, a supervisor from a local drug and alcohol rehab agency recruited me for contract work. I was […]