I experienced a healing touch via music a few days ago.
From the time I could first operate a turntable, music carried, healed, soothed, and saved all those younger versions of myself.
At age 3, I felt it when BB King told me about the thrill and how it was gone. At 12, the vibration of nickel strings on a guitar neck was my talisman against the chaos under our roof. At 22, a wave of new sounds carried me from my trigger-laden home county to the liberation of Austin. At 28, George Harrison changed my life, as I mentioned in the last column, by explaining that “all things must pass.” At an age I shall not specify, it was One Eskimo’s sparkling “Amazing” that expressed my grateful bewilderment while I married Renee, the love of my life.
I’ve never been a Bob Dylan fan. I’m tough on singers. Still, it was his “I Shall Be Released,” covered by the Jamestown Revival on an Avett Brothers tour last week, that opened the door. I felt it starting within me as the band harmonized on the title refrain. Yes. Yes, I shall be released.
I realized later that it’s about a wrongly imprisoned man. What better lyrics for a heartbroken, estranged parent? And how many times in group have we compared estrangement to imprisonment?
Getting tickets to the Avett brothers was a bit of a mystery. Renee and I always liked their music, but something compelled me to finally commit to seeing them.
The band took the stage and commenced what felt like communion with the audience. I love music that takes me where I haven’t been before, and their opening song, “Never Apart,” did that. Mid-song, as I was marveling at the musical scenery, Renee met my gaze and mouthed “Wow!” Something special was happening.
The music poured from a wellspring of creativity. But it was the 15th song of the evening, “We Are Loved,” that released me.
Even as hope seems lost
It may be found again
I have felt alone
But I have never been
If you are standing
Or cannot stop moving
Whether you’re haunted
Or cannot remember
Over the gravestone
Under the rainbow
Pain comes and pain goes
And we are loved
Tears commenced. Something special was happening. I felt my burden lift, and of course, of course it was music to play a pivotal role in my healing. It could not have come any earlier, nor any later.
I don’t know if the burden will settle back on my shoulders. I’ll take care of myself via group, counseling, reading, meditation, the love of my spouse, and occasional vegetable chopping.
Whether it’s temporary or lasts the until our final day, we can heal, and we can be released. Let this serve as a reminder that you are loved, and that even from the tragic fallout of estrangement, you can be released.
