Depression lies to you, like some little devil on your shoulder, whispering that fears will come true, life is pointless, and it will always be this way. And with a stressor such as parent-child estrangement weighing upon you, those whispers can be hard to deal with.
PLACE has taught me that to do this work requires vulnerability. I often tell clients, “counselors come from stuff.” That is, if you work in this field, your upbringing may not have resembled Leave It to Beaver.
So you decide to help others. Your experience leads you to school, school leads you to the mental health profession, and the mental health profession leads you back to experience. Only the focus is on the client’s experience. When the person in that chair talks about their distress, you, the counselor are not supposed to divulge much, if anything, about yourself.
A peer support moderator is not there to act in their capacity as a counselor (if indeed that is their profession). The moderator gets to be vulnerable, which is important to connecting with group peers.
Nonetheless, for me, it takes some getting used to.
A simple roadmap for taking care of yourself is to tend to your biological, psychological, and sociological needs. In the last couple of weeks, I got serious about tending to some biological needs: New hearing aids? Ok, so be it. Sleep apnea treatment? Long overdue.
I focus a lot on my psychological needs, of course, though I decided to add one more thing to the toolbox: medication. It’s only been about a week, but there’s already a difference. My wife asked me about it yesterday, and I said, “Things seem possible.”
That is, the Great Liar has gone quiet, and I am grateful.
Oh, and as far the the sociological needs? In PLACE, you’ve supported each other, and you’ve supported me. And for that, I am grateful.
