Sending a Message

Table of Contents

Part One: On our recent friends trip to Cross Plains, Tx, I took the opportunity to talk about estrangement with my lifelong friend, Whit McClendon. I opened by assuring him, as I assure you now, that this isn’t foreshadowing or a hint of anything whatsoever. 

I asked a favor of him: In the event of my unexpected passing, please find my estranged daughter and give her a message. I have written a rough draft, but I won’t go into the specifics here. I certainly hope she and I get our chance to reconnect and heal, but part of the business of therapy is considering the possibility of the worst outcome. Yes, we try to avoid it, but ours is not the business of denial. 

Again, I may live to be 100 for all I know. Nevertheless, I wanted to have a plan in place. We’ve been there for each other through thick and thin for over 50 years, so it was no surprise when he agreed.

**

Part Two: Not long after our estrangement began, I participated in a songwriting event at a beautiful local venue called the Lewisville Grand Auditorium. Their prompt was to write about a sunset. 

I took some liberties and wrote a song that, as I look back on it, I like a lot of. It’s more autobiographical than many of mine, as the emotional weight of my then-new estrangement is woven throughout. 

“Sonset”

By Brian Briscoe

I’ve been taking that long ride

Ever since my father died

At 21 he fought the Viet Cong

At 21 I was writing songs

I ain’t like him & that’s a fact

But now that he’s gone I don’t know how to act

A hard-working man who could fish the sea

He made himself a legacy

At 55 I’ve got a few ex-wives

My kids are all scattered leading their own lives

The sun sets more than it seems to rise

And it’s taken lots of years for me to realize

I’ve been chipping away at that old block

I’m a little more roll and a lot less rock

Everything around us is a moment in time

Everything we know pirouettes on a dime

I’m a dry headwater in an empty cup

And after all this 

I’m thinking about giving up

(Chorus)

Please don’t lose your courage

And love patiently

Don’t lose your footing

Please don’t follow me 

I am just a son

Who can’t forget regret

Take a pause, hold your applause

Because …

It’s time to watch this son set

Gather ’round and watch this son set 

[Second time add] Buy a round

Watch this son set

It’s getting dark

After the sunset

I’ve been slipping down a long slide

Making the mistakes that I once denied

Getting kind of tired of pumping the brakes

I never fail to fail, ain’t got what it takes

I’m adrift at sea & there’s no dock

I’m the missing key & there’s no lock

I swear to God I tried to find my place

Everything I do, I want to just erase

My love can’t flow when the will’s run dry

Can’t explain the no when I don’t know why

(Chorus)

**

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Brian Briscoe

As a dually-licensed counselor, author, and founder of PLACE, I’ve dedicated my career to helping parents navigate the painful reality of estrangement. Through counseling, peer support, and real-world strategies, I provide the tools and guidance needed to heal, grow, and move forward—without judgment, without labels, just real support.

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