Part One: On our recent friends trip to Cross Plains, Tx, I took the opportunity to talk about estrangement with my lifelong friend, Whit McClendon. I opened by assuring him, as I assure you now, that this isn’t foreshadowing or a hint of anything whatsoever.
I asked a favor of him: In the event of my unexpected passing, please find my estranged daughter and give her a message. I have written a rough draft, but I won’t go into the specifics here. I certainly hope she and I get our chance to reconnect and heal, but part of the business of therapy is considering the possibility of the worst outcome. Yes, we try to avoid it, but ours is not the business of denial.
Again, I may live to be 100 for all I know. Nevertheless, I wanted to have a plan in place. We’ve been there for each other through thick and thin for over 50 years, so it was no surprise when he agreed.
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Part Two: Not long after our estrangement began, I participated in a songwriting event at a beautiful local venue called the Lewisville Grand Auditorium. Their prompt was to write about a sunset.
I took some liberties and wrote a song that, as I look back on it, I like a lot of. It’s more autobiographical than many of mine, as the emotional weight of my then-new estrangement is woven throughout.
“Sonset”
By Brian Briscoe
I’ve been taking that long ride
Ever since my father died
At 21 he fought the Viet Cong
At 21 I was writing songs
I ain’t like him & that’s a fact
But now that he’s gone I don’t know how to act
A hard-working man who could fish the sea
He made himself a legacy
At 55 I’ve got a few ex-wives
My kids are all scattered leading their own lives
The sun sets more than it seems to rise
And it’s taken lots of years for me to realize
I’ve been chipping away at that old block
I’m a little more roll and a lot less rock
Everything around us is a moment in time
Everything we know pirouettes on a dime
I’m a dry headwater in an empty cup
And after all this
I’m thinking about giving up
(Chorus)
Please don’t lose your courage
And love patiently
Don’t lose your footing
Please don’t follow me
I am just a son
Who can’t forget regret
Take a pause, hold your applause
Because …
It’s time to watch this son set
Gather ’round and watch this son set
[Second time add] Buy a round
Watch this son set
It’s getting dark
After the sunset
I’ve been slipping down a long slide
Making the mistakes that I once denied
Getting kind of tired of pumping the brakes
I never fail to fail, ain’t got what it takes
I’m adrift at sea & there’s no dock
I’m the missing key & there’s no lock
I swear to God I tried to find my place
Everything I do, I want to just erase
My love can’t flow when the will’s run dry
Can’t explain the no when I don’t know why
(Chorus)
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