In July of 2024, a counselor named Patrick Teahan responded to the recent New York Times article on parent-child estrangement. Teahan works with estranged adult children, and appeared to take issue with quotes and behaviors attributed to him.
Teahan has been a focal point for estranged parent ire in the wake of the article. His portrayal as a giggling social media influencer capitalizing on family tragedy did him no favors, and his response asserted that the descriptions are inaccurate, and the quotes are taken out of context.
I’ve spent a lot of time this week thinking about how to respond. I am not going to have a public feud with him or anyone else. Yes, the article and his subsequent response were deeply troubling. Make no mistake: I endorse EACs seeing a mental health professional and attending groups.
Fortunately, Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and leading estrangement researcher responded to the problem of social media influencers and biased counselors gracefully in a letter to the NYT. To be clear, Coleman did not specifically name Teahan, though the issues Coleman addressed were abundant in both the article and Teahan’s video response. Coleman’s overarching point was that assuming a patient’s presenting distress is attributable to a traumatizing parent is harmful.
I plan to address my issues with Teahan in group. I also am considering adjusting the PLACE mission in order to not only support EPs working to cope, but to advocate for being a good consumer when seeking a counselor. It is crucial that people seeking mental health help have some idea how to separate a good clinician from a pop psychology pot stirrer.
I will say that the seriousness of parent-child estrangement is often overlooked by click-bait internet therapists.
Beforehand, the adult children ask themselves, “Do I want to keep living this way?”
Afterwards, the parents ask themselves, “Do I want to keep living?”
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I’ve not yet found a useful link directly to Coleman’s letter. Here is a link to a TikTok video that includes the text of the letter.
