I spent hours reading the articles and studies in that list, and my takeaway was… validation. In the counseling field, our stock in trade is the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. If the studies concluded that we have a sweeping epidemic of, say, narcissistic personality disorder, our field would take that as marching orders. We identify the problem and collaborate with the client to try to reduce the associated distress.

The studies, from researchers, psychologists, psychiatrists and universities across the globe, made clear, repeatedly, that the causes of estrangement are diverse and multifaceted. Sometimes the cause is something as severe as abuse, and others it emerges from less-extreme stressors, such as political differences.

The studies also said that while it appears to affect about 27% of families in the USA, it isn’t clear whether or not that number is rising. And though the numbers vary, they also concluded that most estrangement does end with reconciliation.

There was focus on the ripple effects as well. This is the point where I might have itemized some of those as well, but truth be told, you know this already. If you’re living this, you already know. If you’ve been in PLACE groups, we certainly discuss them there.

The studies validated what we already know. There can be a shortage of comfort for estranged parents, but I hope there is some comfort in the fact researchers have not concluded that in each instance of estrangement, the culprit is simply mom or dad.