I’m 7 years old, and I’m stuck in a tree. I’ve climbed up with no problem, but something about that drop from the lowest limb back to the ground has stopped me. It seems too far, and I’m afraid of getting hurt.
I’ve done this before, yet here I am again. Fortunately, it’s not long until my father gets off work, so just like last time, I expect that he’ll come around back of the house, see me up there, and urge me to drop into his arms. He always tells me that he doesn’t understand why I keep doing this, but to be honest, I think we both do.
And here he comes from his job at the phone company, already having been there for 5 years. He’s 20 years older than I am, not much older than a child himself. I don’t know it, but he’s about to divorce my biological mother, and several rocky years in her custody await me.
Today, though, I drop into his embrace again, and now that I’m safely down from the tree, I haven’t a care in the world.
**
As I look back now, in my mid-50s, I see this story as being replete with metaphor. After those rocky years, my sister and I finally ended up in his custody, and then the real work of saving us began.
With my own child estranged from me, I first thought of this story and wondered if it’s a metaphor for her choice: Does she regret getting into this situation, and she’s now waiting for her daddy to rescue her and tell her it’s ok?
Or am I still the child in the tree, waiting for my own hero?
**
I don’t know if she is waiting for me to take action and fix this. I’ve reached out and gotten no response, so the current strategy is to stay put. Continuing to cross that line feels like it could risk jeopardizing what hope remains.
If you’re reading this, I hope you understand that yes, we all need help sometimes. Maybe you’ve attended meetings with us, and the empathy and understanding proved helpful. Maybe you’re curious and haven’t yet worked up the courage to attend.
You won’t find answers to this estrangement dilemma in PLACE. You will find support, and even if you don’t understand how you ended up in this tree, you can look around and see that you’re not alone.
