Collateral Good
When I travel next week, I’ll see my sibling and her family. I haven’t been down there since my father’s funeral just over two years ago. I often tell people that my relationship with my sister might be like Paul McCartney’s with Ringo Starr. That is, only one other person on the planet can fully […]
Boundaries and Values
I’ve been thinking about the similarities between boundaries and values. As you EPs probably know, “boundaries” is a word that’s not only overused, but frequently used incorrectly. Your boundaries are your personal policies about how you will conduct yourself. There is often an interpersonal aspect. Our boundaries are not rules for other people. If I said, “My […]
“Walking Home”
I’ve just returned from playing at a local venue. I had a good time. My estranged daughter, in some small way, could have been with me tonight as I played. I must admit that I’m still trying to figure out what to think of that. I’ll explain in a moment. I’ve been writing songs for […]
We Are the Magic
When PLACE began in spring of 2023, I dove into the work of making a program, and lost a lot of interest in creating new social media content. I had work to do. Fortunately, some prominent estranged parent accounts think favorably of what we do, and have continued to refer people to us. I am […]
Neuroplasticity
My mentor, a counselor named Linda, planted seeds that continue to grow within my heart and mind. In Texas, part of the process of becoming a fully licensed counselor is to spend a period of about two years under the tutelage of a supervising counselor. I could not have been more fortunate than to know […]
Top Tier Needs
In the last newsletter, we talked about how the existence of our social needs, as illustrated above in a Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs model, explains why so many of us benefit from peer support in difficult times. Whether it’s via a community such as PLACE, a place of worship, a friend group, or certainly even […]
Why Groups?
I’ve been pondering one simple question in the last couple of days: Why groups? That is, why do we parents and grandparents working to live in a post-estrangement world benefit from joining a community such as PLACE? After all, here we are having been in a particular family group, and there’s an irony in suggesting that […]
“I Have Grown!”
I dreamed that my estranged child (EC) approached me to see if I’d “grown.” My reply was emotional: “I’ve lost 20 pounds. I’ve been seeing my own counselor. I’ve started a support community. I’m meditating, attending lectures, and volunteering at a Buddhist meditation center… I HAVE GROWN!” And when I woke up, I realized that desperately […]
An Unexpected Support System
Something remarkable happened in one of my individual therapy sessions with a patient one time, and given that we are a support program, I thought I would share it with you all. Cooper, our late sheltie mix, is as quirky as he is lovable. He’s long had the habit of joining my patients as they […]
Tools for Coping
If we talk about our tools for coping, keep in mind that while there are pretty standard approaches from counseling or religion or our mentors and leaders, what’s in your toolbox might not be what’s in mine. We are products of our physical and genetic selves as well as our environments and influences. Your particular […]