A friend of mine was vacationing in Greece many years ago with his then-girlfriend. We’ll call them John and Denise.
John was a great guy. I met him when we worked together in the 1990s. I don’t know that I’ve ever had a friend whom I’ve found to be so much like me.
They adored each other. By the time I met them, they’d been together for perhaps 7-8 years. Though theirs was by all accounts a thriving relationship, John could not commit to marrying Denise. Now, John’s family had a history of a devastating health condition manifesting in young adulthood. John was concerned about marrying Denise and then having his own health take such a turn.
His 30th birthday came and went, and he was by then long past the point at which the condition had emerged for every afflicted family member. Sometime long about then, there they were in that Greek village. Denise was napping in their room as he gazed upon Mount Olympus from the patio. A storm was blowing in, and near the top of the mountain were dark clouds and a dazzling lightning display.
It was an awesome sight, and in the moment, he could understand how ancient Greeks believed it to be the home of Zeus and other gods.
Then it hit him: It’s time to marry Denise.
That clarity emerged out of the blue, but he knew that it was the right thing to do.
I don’t recall the specifics of the proposal and engagement and such, but they are happily married to this day. They’ve moved several states away, and though I don’t get to speak to him as often as I used to, his Greek epiphany has stuck with me.
I share this story because if you’re part of the estrangement/no-contact community, I wish for clarity for you. We often feel paralyzed in this situation, lacking answers and direction.
In that moment of clarity, a world of change awaits. The ambiguity of this distance with our children/grandchildren can leave us uncertain what to do with the one person we can control in this situation: ourselves.
Your clarity may come from literature, a peer, a counselor, a religious or spiritual guide, a movie, or perhaps a thunderstorm at the top of a mountain. Keep looking.
I wish you peace, safety, and clarity.
