An Activity for Connection

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An activity for in case you’re reasonably hopeful about reuniting with your estranged child:

Write down those passing things you’d have said or shared with them, such as songs you heard, a meal like you’ve shared, a funny moment, etc. I’d suggest keeping it in something physical, like a small box with notes in it, a binder, or envelopes.

However, be mindful of the possibility that this could be too difficult and emotional. This can be an opportunity to create some sense of connection, but if some part of you is wary that this will lead to a negative emotional outcome, you should probably err on the side of caution. If it’s too raw right now, having those conversations in your mind might not be appropriate for your current state.

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Let’s talk about trauma for a moment. A traumatic event is one in which our wellbeing is endangered, whether it be via violence, neglect, abuse, etc.

We can also be traumatized from witnessing such things happening to other people.

Statistically, if three people experience such events, one on average is traumatized.

What traumatizes YOU may not traumatize ME, and vice versa.

Yes, maybe what they experienced is subjectively worse. That said, your experience can look much different, and your own trauma can be just as severe. This can come from a whole range of factors and influences, including (but not limited to) genetics and environment. Therefore, if you’re struggling, please don’t lessen what you’re experiencing by comparing it to someone else’s experience.

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Brian Briscoe

As a dually-licensed counselor, author, and founder of PLACE, I’ve dedicated my career to helping parents navigate the painful reality of estrangement. Through counseling, peer support, and real-world strategies, I provide the tools and guidance needed to heal, grow, and move forward—without judgment, without labels, just real support.

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