The word “ruminating” has come up in session a couple of times lately. Ours is a situation that certainly lends to that sort of deep thinking, though it’s no secret that there comes a point at which it does a disservice. If all or most of your waking hours are spent ruminating on estrangement, you are a recipe for emotional distress.
Now, you certainly have the option to do that. Maybe you feel you’ve done something that caused this, and right or wrong, you ruminate to punish yourself.
Where does it end? What is the point at which you behave like someone whose mind works for them, instead of the other way around?
We won’t be foolish enough to suggest that we have such autonomy over our thoughts that we can vanquish all of the emotional fallout of parent-child estrangement.
But are you allowing these troubling thoughts to have too much real estate in your head, either actively or passively? What is the point at which you acknowledge that you still have a life to lead and that the distressing thoughts running through your head only hinder and hurt you?
Give yourself permission to put this burden down, even if occasionally, even if only temporarily. Let yourself be distracted, have a laugh, and most importantly, allow yourself to be a priority.
