One of the initial go-to sets of tools we use in counseling is called “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.” At its heart, it’s an easy-to-remember set of tools with rather useful variations.
It goes something like this:
First, an event happens. Say, a job layoff. CBT holds that what we’re trying to do is affect change in our responses to events that happen. Often in response we have what might be called a cognitive distortion. On that note…
After the event, we have a thought. In many cases, this is where the cognitive distortion (faulty filter, etc) occurs. So, if you were laid off from your job and said to yourself, “Of course I was laid off—I’m a loser,” that is exactly what we’re working to catch. More on that in a minute.
Of course, if you say “I’m a loser” to yourself in such a situation, a negative emotional response will follow. CBT is effectively a flow chart that shows what happens when we respond to an event with a cognitive distortion. So, if you think you’re a “loser,” for example, a negative emotion will follow.
What negative emotions might occur for you in an instance like this? What sort of negative thoughts have you had about yourself as a result of estrangement? One could reasonably guess that the subsequent emotions could include sadness, anger, depression, frustration and more. And when we’re swept up in such negative emotions, often we create a real problem at the next step.
Behaviors occur after the cognitive distortions and negative emotions. As you can imagine, some of these behaviors could be impulsive, destructive, perhaps even violent. Sometimes the resultant behaviors are self-destructive, such as alcohol or drug use. And as you can probably tell, at this point we’ve made the problem even worse than it was when we began.
The outcome is the result of this emotional and behavioral flow chart that is at the heart of CBT. It could sound something like this:
· Event: I got laid off
· Thought: It was because I’m a loser
· Emotion: I felt sad and angry
· Behavior: I responded to that by getting blackout drunk.
· Outcome: When I was blackout drunk, I drove my car and got a DWI and spent time in jail. The end result is that the layoff ended up being much worse overall due to how I handled it.
So, our goal in CBT is to intervene at the “thought” stage. We have a number of approaches for this. There are any number of worksheets on topics such as “taking your thoughts to court” or “examining the data” in response to our cognitive distortions.
Let me know if you have questions or would like a worksheet or recommended reading on CBT.
