The Word Regret

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the word regret lately. Who among us could say that when looking back at the entirety of their life so far they would have no regrets?

Each instance, each moment in time is gone as quickly as it comes. We can see the narrative looking back, and if we’re struggling emotionally, it makes sense to even go so far as to wish we’d done something different.

And yet, with the benefit of hindsight, what actually is the benefit? As we say in our household: to what end?

In my opinion, regret works a bit like worry: There can be some practical value in analyzing something that happened for the purpose of learning and perhaps giving ourselves a chance to have a better outcome next time. Still, there remains a distinct line that we must observe. It’s the line between practical, well-meaning analysis and problematic overthinking.

All we ever have is now. It’s all you had in a moment when you did something that led to a negative outcome, it’s all you have as you read this, and it’s all you’ll have for each of your remaining days. There is no changing your past, nor your future.

You have the gift of now, always, and the best version of you can seize the opportunity to take what you’ve learned from past mistakes and move forward.

Spoiler: You’ll make more mistakes. I will, you will. You do yourself a grave disservice, however, if you think allowing regrets to run rampant in your mind is of any value at all.

You do yourself a similar disservice if you choose not to believe in your ability to learn from your decisions and mistakes from now on.

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Brian Briscoe

As a dually-licensed counselor, author, and founder of PLACE, I’ve dedicated my career to helping parents navigate the painful reality of estrangement. Through counseling, peer support, and real-world strategies, I provide the tools and guidance needed to heal, grow, and move forward—without judgment, without labels, just real support.

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