I’ve been pondering one simple question in the last couple of days: Why groups?
That is, why do we parents and grandparents working to live in a post-estrangement world benefit from joining a community such as PLACE?
After all, here we are having been in a particular family group, and there’s an irony in suggesting that to benefit from the dissolution of one group we should turn to another, right?
This is the sort of question that typically sends me back to the basics. In this case, I think the explanation is found in the classic social psychology model called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It’s often depicted on a pyramid-shaped graph, and it depicts human needs in ascending order of importance.
The first level, which is at the bottom of the pyramid in most depictions, is physiological needs. Of course, before we can address anything else in our lives, we need air, food, water, sleep, shelter, and other such necessary-to-survival criteria.
The second level is safety needs. On this level, we find safety, security (think employment), health, property, etc.
The third level is where we find love and belonging. Maslow posited that these things aren’t just bonus facets of a life worth living; they are essential. Friendship, intimacy, love, and a sense of connection are crucial to our emotional well-being. I’m a counselor, not an anthropologist or social psychologist. Nevertheless, I think it’s safe to say that as long as humans have existed, we have relied on each other for all manner of support, from items at the base of the hierarchy pyramid to friendship, love, intimacy, validation, and so much more.
Now, peer support groups are not for everyone. Furthermore, a perfectly good one just might not be a fit for a particular person. I’ve certainly attended groups for my own support and found them to be a less-than-ideal fit for my needs.
But when it’s a fit, it can be a crucial component of coping. Here we sit in a PLACE Zoom, being heard and understood by parents whose own family challenges give them empathy that can be invaluable in our hour of need.
I love my job, which is mostly one-on-one talk therapy with my patients. I’ve seen epiphanies, great change, and moments that taught me as much as the patient. There is something special about experiencing peer support in a community such as PLACE. At times it can be downright magical. I thank you for your interest and participation.
