Over and Under the Handlebars
An 11-year-old boy is frozen in the air for a moment. He has almost made it home, fleeing from a thug on a BMX bike. Thug began threatening 11yo from the first day they saw each other a few months ago. It started at the park. Thug asked 11yo a question about his bicycle, and […]
Time
TimeFlowing like a riverTimeBeckoning meWho knows when we shall meet againIf everBut timeKeeps flowing like a riverTo the sea “Time” by the Alan Parsons Project It’s November of 2022, and my family and I are leaving Conroe, Texas. I’ve just spoken at my aunt’s funeral, and in our otherwise quiet car, “Time” by the Alan […]
If a Lotus is to Grow…
How do we respond when we are at our worst? One evening in 2004, I bluffed my way out of a three-on-one fight in a parking lot. Afterwards, I called my best friend Whit, who runs a martial arts academy in Katy, Texas. I told him what happened, and as soon as I took a […]
Safe PLACE
Periodically, I encounter misconceptions and assumptions about PLACE. Mistaken PLACE assumption #1: We’re focused on reunification. No, we focus on coping. If you’re trying to reunite, we process that, though truth be told, better, dedicated resources for that are available elsewhere. Conversely, it’s not uncommon for a parent in PLACE to gain a new perspective during […]
In the Box
What do you want? And I don’t mean the first thing that might pop into many of our minds, which would be a peaceful reunion. I mean here, today, in your current circumstances. Do you want to know why? This might not be possible. Some of us get explanations, some don’t. And for those of us […]
The Truth in Our Answers
Somewhere down the road, farther down your timeline, is a version of you that has endured. Imagine a thriving you, well into radical acceptance, having persevered, even triumphed over the malaise that envelops early parent-child estrangement. They’re looking back at you and what you’re enduring today. What are they thinking? What would they say to […]
“It Took All the Kung Fu I had.”
As uncomfortable as this may be for me to share, I stand by my policy of transparency with our PLACE community. I struggled this week. From Monday to Wednesday, I had a depressive episode. Monday and Tuesday I got up, made myself work, and as soon as I had a break in the schedule went […]
In the Lips and Hearts of Little Children
In the novel Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackery wrote, “Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”* From giving birth to toddler years, childhood illnesses, teenaged shenanigans, you’ve dealt with a gamut of a child’s predictably unpredictable challenges while also being a veritable fountainhead of love. It was in a […]
These Records Saved Me…
After all these years, I remain fascinated by music’s therapeutic value. As I write this, just above the computer monitor is an autographed photo of BB King. Down and to my left in my collection of 45 rpm records is the copy of his “The Thrill is Gone” that I learned to spin on a […]
Checking Your Emotional Distress
Our son got a D on an exam recently, and as you can imagine, it elicited a negative emotional response in him. He is in grad school, studying to be a counselor. It’s a joy to talk shop with him, and I’m convinced he could probably pass the National Counselor Exam already. He’s a dedicated, engaged student, […]