Happy PLACE

I joke about how counselors urge people to go to their “happy place.”   I joke about everything. But as a counselor, I know the value of holding a place in your mind that is serene and peaceful. Someone experiencing emotional distress may need to immerse themselves in a memory of such a place. But […]

What Happens After?

Years ago while watching a PBS program, I was moved at the sight of a mathematician’s tears. Having just solved a theorem over 300 years old, Andrew Wiles was not basking in the attention like one might expect. He was instead aware of his moment, and that nothing after would be the same. I’m not […]

Behind the Curtain

Counselors can’t predict the future, though I’ve been in the client chair with a couple who attempted to do so. Because of this, I have a policy of transparency and honesty with clients. I let them know what I think (and why), and I let them know what I don’t have an answer for.   […]

The Great Liar

Depression lies to you, like some little devil on your shoulder, whispering that fears will come true, life is pointless, and it will always be this way. And with a stressor such as parent-child estrangement weighing upon you, those whispers can be hard to deal with. PLACE has taught me that to do this work […]

Those Other Counselors

I had an interview with WGBW on the topic of parent-child estrangement. Here’s the link: https://civicmedia.us/shows/rational-revolution It’s about a half hour long. A big thank you to Jerry Bader for giving PLACE this opportunity. ** I mentioned in the WGBW interview that although we may disagree with our children regarding what led to estrangement, something led them […]

One Day

One Day One day we will be back together We will reconcile I will have apologized for crossing her boundaries I will have apologized for showing her brother more love and making her feel less important I will have apologized for gossiping to my friends about her and her life I will have apologized for […]

This Summer

We’re at a time of year that has historically been difficult for me. That is, I think my estranged daughter will be in town for the summer. I’ve already had a few instances of wondering if I’d just bumped into her in public, even as recently as this morning. I think I’m better prepared this […]

Coping in Three Acts

Act One: Thought Replacement I am standing in the doorway of a cabana beside the Colorado River, only a mile or two from where it empties into the Gulf of Mexico in Matagorda, Texas. My father helped build it, and the adjacent river house, both owned by family friends. In the evenings, dozens of wild […]

The Doug, The Row, and Estrangement

“I didn’t have no choice, Mack. Suzy said she wouldn’t go see him unless he got sick or had a broke arm. I tried, but I couldn’t figure out how to get him sick.” In the movie Cannery Row, Hazel tries to do something about the estrangement between Doc and his love interest, Suzy. I’ll spare […]

“For a Family Unflawed”

You, flawless kin around the Sunday table, your laughter spilling like last night’s wine. We, the outsiders, press our faces to your glass, counting hugs like bankers count their cash. What thread holds you together, quiet and tight? No slammed doors echo through this home. No lacerating words to leave marks, yet even saints stumble […]