Bravery
On top of taking classes and such for my CEUs (continuing education units), I also spend no small amount of time reading and seeking additional pertinent information to continue to sharpen my tools. This is fascinating work, and I feel blessed to do it. So yesterday I was reading, again, through Complex PTSD: From Surviving to […]
Purposelessness and Permission
We’ve talked about how having an EC (estranged child) can result in an identity crisis. If you’re not MOM, DAD, GRANDPA or GRANDMA, what identity remains? Similarly, I wanted to touch on two similar, interrelated topics: Purposelessness and permission. Just like the identity issues that can arise from estrangement, we can struggle with a core question: What […]
Denial
We discussed the word DENIAL in a recent meeting. Some ECs assume that we are denying our part in the circumstances leading to the estrangement. Are we? Does a person reading this feel that they are 100% without error or blame? I doubt it. However, with the same analytical approach, can we in good faith assert that […]
Boundaries
I wanted to take a moment and talk about a frequent topic in our group meetings: Boundaries. A member sent me a good Washington Post writeup on how prevalent misuse of the word is. The story can be found here. Boundaries are your personal policies regarding what you will do in a given situation. As you can imagine, boundaries […]
Radical Acceptance
Our community promotes the principle of Radical Acceptance, a phrase coined by psychologist Marsha Linehan when she created Dialectical Behavioral Therapy back in the 80s. Radical acceptance is basically accepting, without judgment, the reality of our situation, and working to move forward instead of remaining stuck on regrets, like “should,” “could have,” etc. For your consideration, […]
“TV Therapy”
Let’s take a minute and talk about what I have come to call “TV therapy.” As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I’m often amused (though sometimes frustrated) by inaccurate portrayals of counseling in TV and movies. That example has influenced some people who come to session with me. At any given time, I’ve usually got at least one […]
Adapting
As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I see many types of distress, from depression and anxiety to addiction and relationship issues. Often in session, we have conversations that boil down to the patient’s attachment to the desire for someone else to, well, do something. “I want this person to…” · Stop drinking · Treat me better […]
Forgiveness and Amends
Estrangement is certainly a topic within which we discuss these concepts. Forgiveness means letting go of resentment, anger, and hostility toward someone who treated you unfairly, even though you are justified in having these feelings. Who do you need to forgive? Are you able to? What if you need to forgive yourself? Look back at […]
Re-introducing: PLACE
We began this program back in March of 2023, and I thought I’d take this opportunity for a re-introduction. I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (#64576) here in North Texas, and I’ve been seeing patients since 2008. I’m also a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor (#12813). I’m married to “the lovely Miss Renee,” as we affectionately call […]
Doing the Work
I have a hard question for you. Are you doing the work? You’re here, reading this, maybe participating in our Zoom meetings because you’ve been affected by estrangement and you want to feel better, right? There is a whole world of “interventions,” aka things to try to improve our mental/emotional wellbeing. Obviously, I’m a big […]