The theme of compassion has recurred a number of times lately in my own life. Speaking to my own counselor recently, she re-emphasized the value and need of having not only compassion for others but for ourselves. The compassion we share with PLACE members is an invaluable help to Renee and me.
đź’ˇ So, what exactly is compassion?
Let’s use empathy as a starting point, as it’s perhaps a little easier to pin down. Empathy is the ability to effectively feel what someone else is feeling; to feel not only for them, but with them.
Compassion is our own emotional response to empathy, and this concept includes one important additional facet: Compassion creates a desire to help.
Charles Darwin claimed in The Descent of Man that compassion is our strongest instinct, a conclusion he researched and reached after the death of his 10-year-old daughter. It certainly makes a lot of sense to view compassion as imperative in the context of the survival of the human species. Helping others survive aids our own survival.
As you work to live, grow, and heal as you adapt to post-estrangement life, take a moment to step outside of yourself. Show yourself some compassion. Viewed through the lens of compassion, what would you say to yourself regarding your missteps, your misunderstandings, and the places where, like all of us, you were imperfect? What would you say to yourself if deep down, you believe you are largely accountable for what has occurred? What would you say to yourself if you felt certain that you are not accountable, and your current circumstances are unfair or illogical?
Some suggestions for showing self-compassion:
❣️ Maintain a fair attitude towards yourself and not a judgmental one
❣️ Accept yourself for who you are
❣️ Practice self-care daily, care is not some occasional reward
❣️ Accept that it’s normal to struggle
❣️ Practice mindfulness to mitigate a loop of negative thoughts and feelings
