For your consideration, here’s a technique to try, adapted from a behavior modification intervention. In our family, we call this technique Worry Time.
⏰ When negative thoughts are bothering you, find a place to be alone, and set a timer for 10 minutes, 15 maybe. Once that timer begins, you are “on the clock.”
💭 Your job is to go ahead and indulge your thoughts. They have time, limited though it is, to talk and judge you. You’ve been dealing with them anyway. Let them do what they seem to “want” to do for that amount of time.
🤫 When the bell rings and worry time is over, get up and tell yourself that you’re clocked out or logged off for the day. You have given what you’re going to give today to those negative thoughts, but now it isn’t your job to listen to them. You have permission to get up, change the mental topic, and respond to negative thoughts moving forward with “Hey, be quiet, I’m off the clock now!”
You might be surprised how difficult it can be to dive in so thoroughly for as long as 15 minutes.
Remember as you try this or any technique that we don’t approach our attempts to feel better with an expectation of reducing our distress to zero. The expectation is reduction, not elimination.
Instead, think of the zero-to-10 distress meter in your mind at the beginning and end of this exercise. For example, your negative thoughts might score at a seven, eight, or higher on the meter as you begin the exercise. Once you finish the exercise, successfully reducing negative thoughts to a score of, say, a six, five, or four is a win that comes with relief.
Take care of yourself.
